Mal Bennett ( one 'L', two 'Ts') and his bike shop, Mal Adjusted Cycles is worshiped by singles speeders throughout the country as pound for pound, the greatest avenue for sales, service, the forbidden dance and advice for all single speed related subjects.
Mal has selfishly offered to fully support the 2009 Bungendore Single Speed Championships and promised to wash my car on numerous occasions. There is no denying that Mal and the single speed underground are joined at the hip.
SO WHY WAS MAL RIDING A GEARDED BIKE AGAIN THIS WEEKEND AT CORC 4?
It has been put to the masses earlier tonight on a separate chat forum, and the single speeders have responded with 4 possible reasons why the guru of single speed riding in the region has turned his back on his followers;
1. Mal has developed a nasty rash somewhere between his belly button and the top of his butt cheeks. Whilst the cause of the rash is only known to Mal and a cute looking Llama called Bambi, Mal feels he is not worthy to mix it with the chosen one gearded brethren until he is given a clean bill of health from his local GP.
2. Mal has only recently learnt to count, and he wants to use his skills by telling everyone around him what gear ratio he is currently riding. He was heard changing numerous of times on the weekend and yelling"43 x 16 = 688, Changing to a 43 x 15 = 645".
3. He has sold out, and transforming his single speed emporium into a knitting co-op for the senior citizens of Dickson.
4. He has gone soft in his old age.
Only Mal knows the real answer to the question, but the entire single speed fraternity hopes to see Mal on a one gearded bike at the coming BSS&SS events.
God, please give him strength!
AMEN
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Soft as Nanna's scones that bloke I tell ya!
ReplyDeleteAs a result of Mals infringement at the recent CORC round he was quickly taken away by the brethren to a secret destination and forced to remove all unnecessary accessories from his cyclocross bike. The unnatural and evil gear changers were cast into the bowels of the earth ridding Mal of the "disease of the common".
ReplyDeleteLet us pray for Mal that he does not return to the side of evil but remains true to the brethren of the one gearded.
As a founding member of the brethren this misdemeanour will be over looked but newer members will not be so lucky and the punishment will be harsh, swift and involve large amounts of beer.